On Being a Missionary
Toni Krizia Vivares
“God’s work done in God’s way will never lack God’s supply” — Hudson Taylor
This is a story of survivors who has just endured the battle through absolute surrender. They had outlasted the fight by enduring all fears hanging on firmly to their faith.
Once, our team had this objective to reach every Youth for Christ in our area. We never know who they are, but we know they are just there….confuse in the corners, afraid of boundaries, busy with the growing up thing, and just like us finding their self worth in this world. We never know what path are they into but we believe that their voices are unheard. They’ve got so many stories to tell and they are waiting for that one chance when the whole world would stop, and listen to them. They are defying all odds to make it in the school of hard knocks we call life.
Our team aims to take the first step so we could all be united and journey towards Christ. The goal is to find the lost sheep and bring them back to their shepherd. Our vision is a spark that soon enough burned like a fire.
We, as visionaries started to meet up regularly. For almost three months we had been proposing, doing all the paperwork, debating, exchanging thoughts and ideas, cutting edges from idealistic things to realistic matters, revising plans, altering venues, assigning duties, examining our moves and preparing our hearts for that mission. Everything is from scratch. We wanted to make something out of a blank. We have no capital. No budget. No manpower… almost nothing. All we’ve got is our voluntary hearts and risky young minds, bold and unafraid… willing to make this world a better place. The last thing we knew, that is more than enough. We are ready.
We moved on to the next chapter. Of all the things we’d been through, this seemed to be the most difficult, the seeking for the lost.
We have seen ourselves as young missionaries, enduring the heat of the sun looking for YFCs everywhere from the hilltop to the railroads… walking from house to house, knocking at every doorstep, asking for their parent’s permission, begging these young people to join. After a long and tiring search we will hear them say, ”Ate sorry po hindi ako makakapunta kasi…” That is the most disheartening part. Not because we don’t understand them but because some are obviously just making excuses. No need to say a word, the gestures show. Here comes our greatest fear, rejection. We have to accept the bittersweet reality that not everyone is as involved as we do. Worst we can’t do anything about it. No bargaining. When they say no, they mean it.
We begin to doubt our capacity to fulfill the mission. Suddenly we are lost. In a split of a second, we are afraid. In a blink of an eye, we are less excited. We’re tired. It’s always been a long walk and travel. We seem to exert just so much effort, but at the end of the day we get no answers, no affirmations. How then could we run another mile when we’re almost losing the race?
In a fast pacing world where young people are always in a hurry, how could we slow them down? In the generation where the youth are bombarded with the things that indicate how attach they are in the world, how do we pull them apart? We can’t stop their running. We can’t stop their escaping. Maybe, we can’t stop their hiding. They are no different with time, fast, uncertain, unending.
We have arrived at the crossroad. And due to much concern and support we gain from our leaders, Couple Coordinators and other YFCs outside our area, and because of the courage we won through constant prayers and discernment, we chose the more difficult path. We continue what we’ve started.
Days turn into night and night into days. Suddenly it’s September 24. One more day and our event would kick off. For us that is our culmination day, the moment when our efficiency as leaders and worth as missionaries will be measured.
We almost had no sleep. We busied ourselves with the preparation. We made adjustments for the last minute changes. Before we close our eyes, we made sure everything is perfect. Once again, we are ready.
God had prepared a beautiful day for us. It was a Sunny Sunday morning. The morning sunshine is like a kiss from above that says, “Relax my children, I am in charge.”
From the beginning till the end, His plans prevailed. Everything happened contrary to our plans. But everything was beautiful.
All through the day we played. They jump. They run. They laugh. They shout. They walk. They share their stories. They journey with us. True to our objective which is to put us all together as we strive to journey from crisis to where Christ is.
In the end, we found ourselves at the top of the world, savoring the breath taking view while worshiping our God.
We know that this is a new beginning for them. We believe that through this, they found a family in us. A family sealed with God’s love and in this circle we will never let them go no matter when, no matter what.
Maybe this is also a new beginning for us. We were wrong when we though this is about us. It’s not about measuring our efficiency as leaders but our endurance as YFC members.
As much as we all want to be an instrument, there are times when we tend to focus the spot light on us. And sometimes everything turns a projection of our best selves. While the success of our events should reflect the greatness our God, we steal the glory.
We have come to realize that we have nothing to do with this. It is not about our capacity. God does it all. Maybe he is just teaching us that serving him is about being and being Christ through yielding our everything. It is about growing in where he planted us. It is about trusting him whenever we are tested. It is about becoming more and more humble as he gives us greater responsibilities.
Truly He is larger than all our weaknesses, than all our desires, than all our talents, than all our plans.
God be praised.
Borrowed article from Toni Krizia Vivares, a YFC from CFC Laguna Central 1 who is now serving in YCOM Program on documentation taking up degree in Development Communication at UPLB and daughter of a YFC Couple Coordinator, Cesar & Au Vivares, (PCC, CFC-YFC Laguna).